Only regal confidence can elevate a princess to a queen

“Pretty is as pretty does.”

I have no idea who coined the phrase but it’s been used by many grandmothers over the years to prompt ladylike behavior in their granddaughters. It played on my own grandmother’s lips like a broken record.

I’ll never forget the look on her face the day I smirked and proclaimed, “that’s just what ugly people say”. I was so sure that beauty existed without the slightest influence from anything other than physical appearance.

I was about 10 years old when that arrogant remark was voiced. I held fast to that way of thinking until I was at least 35.

I’m not going to sit here and blog about people only being beautiful because of what’s on the inside. I know, and so do most of you, that’s a load of … well, you get the idea.

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I do believe though that confidence is what makes pretty, beautiful and gorgeous, stunning. I believe it’s what makes a princess, a queen.

Please don’t confuse confidence with arrogance. The latter is, in my opinion, repulsive. On my list of major annoyances, arrogance sits in the number one slot.

Confidence comes solely from how we feel about ourselves. It is being certain about who we are and where we stand in the world. It also comes from a deep understanding of our own belief system and our ability to remain true to those beliefs.

I was never genuinely confident in myself until I hit my late 30s. I was always so sure that I was but looking back, I had retained that 10-year-old’s idea of gauging beauty on face value.

The fact is, beauty is enhanced by one’s own feelings of self worth. As I knock on the door of 40, I realize that I was never confident, just arrogant.

I have always resisted recognizing and accepting myself. In truth I found myself so ugly on the inside that I fought to keep any focus on my outward appearance. It’s taken me to midlife to truly see and accept myself and all that comes with it.

Among many traits, I’m moody, indecisive, stubborn, grumpy and insensitive at times but I’m also optimistic, intelligent, loving, adventurous and wise(er). I accept all of these traits, not just the good ones. They are what make me, me. I no longer hide who I am and how I feel, especially from myself.

I know exactly who I am now. I don’t know if that makes me beautiful but I do know I’m no longer a spoiled little princess.

I am a confident queen.

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