I look forward to holidays about as much as I do to contracting the black plague. They are a thorn in my side and the mere mention of them gives me hives.
When you are afflicted with Bipolar Disorder and suffer crazy anxiety attacks, the planning, execution, and aftermath of holidays can be daunting – especially when the major gathering is at my house. The odds are always stacked against me. We have three children and my husband is almost always absent for our family’s get togethers. He’s a police officer so his schedule is hectic at best.
And the personalities of various family members mix like oil and water. This person can’t be here when that person is and so on. I think you may be beginning to see why the celebrations trigger anxiety for me. The drama and hussle to get things done goes from 0 to 60 in the days proceeding the actual holiday.
I’m suppose to be cleaning right now in anticipation of the family’s arrival tomorrow but I’m having trouble with motivation. I’m going to clean tonight only to have a ravaged home tomorrow. It seems quite pointless.
I did stop in the middle of writing this to start the task of cooking our Easter lunch for tomorrow. It’s funny how life has a way of showing you what’s important.
My oldest son joined me in the kitchen and although he broke the pie crust with the roughness of a 9-year-old, we had so much fun. For a while he lifted me out of the dread of impending chores.
My list is still a mile long but I now have a blueberry pie, deviled eggs, and dyed eggs in the fridge ready for tomorrow. As a surprise, I made the boys chocolate pudding with whipped cream. It’s the little things that make them smile.
I could learn a lesson or two from my boys.
I had more to say on holidays and bipolar disorder but that can wait, too. It’s time to enjoy that pudding with them before I go on to finish all that needs to be done for tomorrow. Happy Easter, y’all!